Of course, for those of you who would still like to get someone a game, here’s our list.
Jakub Wojnarowicz: FiringSquad Games Editor
World of WarCraft: $19.95
Because the only way to live with the fact that you're a catass with three level 60s in full Naxx gear is to make everyone else around you a catass. Besides, you can give your friend a head start on The Burning Crusade... as well the unemployment line.
Company of Heroes: $49.95
You may be sick of World War II first-person shooters, but you're not sick of World War II RTS games ... yet. Next year: Company of Heroes Expansion Pack, Company of Heroes II, Company of Heroes Clone, Company of Heroes Clone 2, Company of Heroes Clone 3. And so it will continue until EA butchers the genre by finally jumping on the bandwagon with “John Madden’s Company of Heroes”, which has the old Raiders coach giving play-by-play of a Panzer tearing down a brick wall. "And you see, when the player drives his tank into that stone wall, he hits it. The tank is big enough that it can break the wall, so it can't be used for cover. So the defence can't take cover behind it, from your fire. Taking out that wall changed the whole play. The wall prevented your troops from getting full effect against the opposing team. Now it changes because the tank drove over it. Let's see that again on replay. And you see, when the player drives his tank…"
Medieval 2: Total War: $49.95
For those people who like to fight versus 4 on 1 odds against insane AI on the strategic front, only to lob countless artillery shells against static AI on the battlefield. But the graphics are pretty!
Personalized fUnc Industries Archetype:
Everyone has that friend still moping around and wishing his ex-girlfriend would come back. A picture of her getting intimate with the starting line-up of the Cincinnati Bengals printed on his shiny new indestructible mousepad that he sees first thing Christmas morning should give him a subtle hint that maybe she's not the sweet angel he really wanted to spend all his life with. (You may have to settle for the Oakland Raiders if she’s a hag though -ed.)
Any EA Sports game released this year:
Just so you can see what the worst interface known to man is, and wonder that a company as profitable as Electronic Arts would be stupid enough to try to use this horrible excuse for a GUI across their entire spectrum of NCAA, NFL, NHL, and NBA franchises. Besides, you've all got that annoying cousin you don't really like but mom expects you to get a gift for him anyway.