JCal: This is a great subject for an article and I like some of the author's viewpoints. I wish there were some specific examples from specific WWII games that illustrated his point and the long, long list of games is not needed. Some examples don't really count either (Resistance: Fall of Man is not a WWII shooter) . I do like that the article looks at how war has been used as entertainment and examines how that might be a bad idea for some games. This is the kind of feature that is both entertaining and makes you think. Overall, it's well done
Brandon: You clearly spent a lot of time researching your article, and you did a solid job of backing up all your points. Your analysis is spot-on in my opinion and I thought you did a good job. The article was also well written. The only tweak I would have made is titles for a few of the various paragraphs. The next to last paragraph stood out the most in my opinion.
Alan: A good writer has to know his material. A good writer also needs to know the pulse of his readers so that his topics will be interesting. You’ve got those two elements down and that’s a good thing. There’s unfortunately a third element to being a writer. You can call it the X Factor, having “heart”, the “Bruce Willis is dead” factor, etc. What’s missing right now is your writing voice. It’s not just about reporting the facts – you have to objective and subjective at the same time.
Jakub: Unlike most commentary about World War II in gaming, your article isn’t a rant and has facts, but they’re not put together well. So there have been 350 World War II-related games released in the past decade, great. Out of how many games in total? Walk around town and it seems like you’re tripping over BMWs some days, but the fact is that there are a lot more Toyotas out there. If you’re going to try and convince me with hard facts, you have to string them together into one constant argument in favor of your position, and pre-emptively shut down common points of dissent. If you choose not to be passionate with your words, then deliver a relentless flurry of facts and arguments to build that emotional high for you. Oh, and work on those analogies. There’s no way you’re ever going to convince me that improved graphics performance is like heating water so it can dissolve more salt. Your work ethic intrigues me, however.