JCal: This is a high-school journal entry, not a gaming article. This is not what we should be looking for in a new writer. I really didn't find anything that interested me. Trying to break into the video game industry should make for a fascinating and fun to read feature but all we got was a brief encounter with a well known level designer during a classroom exercise. The writing was not up to par with what people expect from this web site. It needs some work.
Alan: This is an example of having a clear writing voice, which is great. Unfortunately, there’s not much substance in this article. Maybe if he’s telling the inside story of developing a game or the if he’s applying this same level of passion to something with substance, he might have a chance. Right now? He’d be a pass.
Jakub: The personal experience is a difficult style of article to write, and I applaud you for trying but I can’t say it’s been too successful. Anecdotes have to be entertaining and they usually work best when they have a point or at least an amusing ending. Karma doesn’t really fit either description.
JCal: Holy Toledo! The writer clearly follows the multiplayer shooter scene extensively. However the subject matter is of interest only to pro gamers. Most people will look at this detailed look at how multiplayer games are played and admire it but won't read and really enjoy it. It would have been better with some more color; perhaps some insight as to how specific players handle specific levels. This is more of a thesis than an article written for a gaming web site.
Alan: Ah, the beauty of having multiple entries. Now this is where I’m seeing substance. There’s even a distinct voice to this article and a sophisticated understanding of gameplay mechanics. What’s missing though is ability to relay this information in a more concise and easy-to-follow manner. If you can take your background and present it in a more interesting way, you’ll make it to the finals.
Jakub: Here you put your practical and theoretical knowledge to good use and impress the reader. The only problem is that there’s nothing to spark the imagination, to make it personal for the audience. Quake 3 is a good technical choice, but it presents the same problem for your article as it does for the gaming world: it’s too hardcore. Something more likely to catch interest would be a hypothetical losing situation in Call of Duty 2, Counter-Strike, Company of Heroes, or even World of WarCraft. Tap into that memory everyone has from when they run into a truly gifted opponent, someone so much better that you can’t even be angry at yourself for losing. Otherwise your article will appeal only to that same niche you’re trying to describe.
WWII
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