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Devastating

Let's cut to the chase: Devastation is a horrible game. If you've already shelled out money for it, you might still be in the throes of self-denial, frantically trying to justify the $40 you spent. "But it's got rat drones," you might say, trying not to think about what other games you could have bought with that money. "You can pick stuff up. The fire effects are cool. And they could still patch it some more."

The problem isn't so much the concept, which is benign enough. The basic idea behind Devastation is to take the Unreal engine, soup it up with some real-world physics, make some post-apocalyptic landscapes, and then tie it all into a single player game cleverly built around that old chestnut of infinitely spawning enemies. So far, so good. But then comes the execution.

What passes for humor

The AI takes careful aim

Take this sign's advice

Where are the dinosaurs?

The physics system sounds a lot like a certain other bad game called Trespasser. You can pick up bottles and Coke cans. You can move barrels. You can carry crates. You can kick stuff. You can pick up nearly anything to use it as a weapon, move it around, or throw it to distract guards. And there are exactly zero times any of this comes into play.

There are a few of those annoying twists where someone takes away all your weapons (Oh no, you've been captured!) and you begin the level with a 2-by-4 or a combat knife. But guns are soon brought to bear in these levels, so the whole 'use a bottle as a weapon' conceit is about as relevant to the gameplay as lens flare. One unintentionally hilarious level in an insane asylum has you armed with a plank squaring off against doctors trying to jab you with needles. The only thing funnier would have been a level in an office supply store in which you have rubber bands and paperclips and you're fighting store managers armed with manila folders.

As for moving things around or throwing them to distract enemies, there are none of Trespasser's crate stacking puzzles (phew...) and you never have to sneak past a guard, making Devastation one of the only games in recent history to eschew the whole stealth craze. There are, however, a few times when a guard seems scripted to ignore you until you attack him, so throwing a bottle down the hall doesn't serve any purpose other than to call up the sound effect of a bottle being thrown down the hall.

Shanghai sniper

Surveilling

Alcatrash

The physics system does accomplish one thing: it serves to reinforce disbelief rather than suspend it. Sometimes you'll walk into a small room and inadvertently kick a folding chair. It'll shoot off your invisible leg and ricochet around the room like Flubber. There seems to be mysterious wind blowing through some of the levels. Maybe a stack of boxes will suddenly fall over for no apparent reason. Turn a corner and you'll discover a barrel spinning on its rim. You can almost see the numbers from the physics code not adding up right and creating all sorts of wacky effects. It's as if someone forgot to carry the two, making a cardboard box skitter down a hallway like a pinball. And all the while, you're constantly accompanied by the noises of someone shuffling through a trash-filled alley. The soundtrack to Devastation may as well be the effects of rattling cans and knocked over bottles. This is a physics system serves little purpose other than to pose a great big unanswered 'why?'.