Ballistics Report

Pros

Boobilicious box
Lara’s breasts are nicely embossed on the box cover

Gloomy night

Shoulder first

Just made it

Cons

Out of control
The control system is so clumsy and non-responsive that you might as well be playing the game wearing boxing gloves

Combat chaos
Lara’s newfound martial arts skills contribute only button-mashing and graphical slowdown

Derivative design
Despite the hype, none of the new stealth and character elements are necessary because this is the same run, gun, and solve inane puzzles Tomb Raider we’ve been getting since 1996

Somebody get the Raid!
Graphical slowdown and other bugs, including install issues that made it hard to even get the game on my hard drive (if only I’d taken that as an omen and slowly backed away then…), frequently get in the way