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Imagine you’re a convict and you’re being transferred to a maximum correctional facility. That’s what Sam, Miguel and Reggie were doing. As luck would have it, there also happened to be a zombie outbreak – a perfect excuse to make a run for it. You may have seen them in the courtyard in Dead Rising.

How they get to the mall is an unsolved mystery. Perhaps the stars aligned and the cops or guards transferring them decided to take a detour to the local mall. What a stroke of luck! At least that way the convicts could see the GAP one last time. Or perhaps they escaped from somewhere else in the city and decided to go to the mall because it seemed the logical thing to do. Especially that mall – man they had everything!

When we first see them in the game, they’ve acquired a military jeep with a cheat code for infinite ammo.

Frank learns the hard way that you can’t stop them; you can only hope to contain them. They’re like level 9 and having a blast. Frank may be able to take out zombies with bowling balls but it’s the convicts that know how to get the job done right. If there’s ever a zombie outbreak, give me a machine gun and a good old fashion baseball bat any day. Unless there happens to be a lawnmower handy, then fine. Maybe I’d mess around for a little.

You have to admire the convicts. They were given a new lease on life and they’re living it to the fullest. They’re driving around the courtyard rocking the same song night after night. They don’t even bother changing out of those tacky orange prisoner uniforms. They could have easily gone to any of the clothing stores at the Willamette Mall; but they aren’t ashamed of who they are. But that raises the question of “Where were they then?” After their first encounter with Frank, they aren’t seen during the daytime. I conclude that they could only have gone to the parking garage. It’s the only place to fit their jeep. They must have driven down there and hid somewhere to sleep. Now that’s gutsy! There are only a zillion dead people in the parking garage but they don’t sweat it. They’re level 99!

When the game ends we get no info on the whereabouts of these three zany guys. They’re disappearance has led to a numerous strain on the local law enforcement’s efforts. After the mess at the mall was cleaned up it was presumed that the military got them or that they were caught off guard by some respawning zombies. It’s the perfect getaway – to fake your death. Actually they did the logical thing and walked right out of the front door. They didn’t need that cramp mall; they had the whole town to call their castle.

Frank West would have you believe that they killed in cold blood. Hey, it was a hectic time, your Honor. You couldn’t tell a zombie from a live one. They didn’t even know that guy was alive. And hitting zombies with a baseball bat was quite popular; I’m sure Mr. West will agree.

In the end, they each went their separate ways.

Miguel still spends a good deal of his time in courtrooms. He has been launching a fulltime campaign against bread companies insisting that explain why hotdogs are sold in packages of ten, while the buns still come in packages of eight!

Sam moved to Wyoming and adopted two children. He does extensive voice work for the cartoon network and is a part-time editor for Maxim. He has a book deal for his account of what happened in the summer of 2006 entitled “Innocent Bystander: The Sam Franklin Story”; due out Q4 2007.

Reggie returned to his job at Nintendo.

Three men who just got on their Humvee and rode off into the sunset. Gentlemen, I salute you.

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